Breaking
by Raquelita
Summary: After Josh's death, Mick convinces Beth to let him stay with her for her own protection. But the truth is that he just wants to be close to her, to be there just in case she breaks. And one night, she finally does. Oneshot?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: my first Moonlight story, because i've just recently become obsessed with that show...please R&R!**

**disclaimer: i own nothing**

Mick woke with a start, covered in a cold sweat. He'd had the dream again – the nightmare. He shook his head and tried to clear his mind. But he couldn't tell himself it was just a dream. It was real, all too real. Getting up, he pulled on his t-shirt and walked out into the hall of the silent apartment. Seeing it now, so peaceful, he would never have imagined the tragedy that had occurred within its walls had he not been a part of it. He hated himself.

He walked down the hall until he got to the door of their bedroom – well, what had been their bedroom up until three days ago. And three nights, he had spent three nights sleeping on Beth's couch. He had lied and told her it was because he feared for her safety, but really he just wanted to be close to her.

Of course he wouldn't go into their room. He just wanted to make sure she was okay, that she hadn't done anything stupid. Moving slowly, Mick cracked open the door and glanced into the room, bathed in moonlight. The white curtains were blowing softly through the open doors to the small balcony, exposing the city lights outside.

She was sitting in bed, arms curled around her legs, wearing nothing but a white tank top and her underwear.

He shut the door behind him. "Beth…" he whispered before he could stop himself.

She looked up, and he saw a tear slide down her cheek. She turned away from him and brushed her golden blonde hair out of her face.

"Please go away," she said in a voice that broke with emotion.

For a moment he was about to oblige, to turn around and walk right back out the door. But he made the mistake of glancing back at her as he put his hand on the door knob. He watched as she pulled her knees closer into her chest, trying to protect herself against the pain that she blamed him for…he knew then that he couldn't leave her this way.

Turning around, he took a deep breath, "Let me explain," he began.

"Mick, I told you to go away. I meant it. I let you stay here because you say it's for my own good. But after what happened to Josh …" her voice trailed off and he knew she didn't want him to see her cry.

"I'm sorry," he said, "I'm so sorry. For everything. And I know you think it was my fault, but for whatever you feel don't believe for a moment that I don't blame myself too. I should have been able to save him. I should have tried harder," he swallowed hard to keep his own tears back for the pain he'd caused her, "I just couldn't have turned him Beth."

She looked up again, studying his clouded eyes with her glassy hazel ones. Something in her expression told him that she was close to the breaking point. Close to turning to away from everything and giving up on life. He couldn't let her do that.

Beth got up and walked over to the table next to the window. He watched her pick up a bottle of vodka and take a drink from it. He hadn't noticed it before. She turned to face him again, silhouetted in the moonlight with the bottle still in her hand.

"How much of that have you had tonight?" he asked in the steadiest voice he could manage.

She glanced down at it and then back to him, "Not enough."

Mick realized it was half empty.

"You need to stop Beth, now."

She shook her head, "I need to stop? What I need, Mick, is for you to get out of my life," she took another shot and turned away.

He followed her out onto the balcony, and suddenly she whirled around so their faces were inches away from each other.

"Why did you let it happen?" she asked, "I trusted you. You said he would be okay. Why didn't you try harder?" her voice got louder, "Why didn't you do something? Why didn't you save him? Why didn't you fucking CARE?!?" she yelled the last word and stumbled slightly. He grabbed her arm and gave it a jerk.

"Look at me," he said sharply, "Look at me Beth. I did everything I could to save Josh. Don't for one minute think I didn't. Don't tell me I didn't try. And don't _ever_ tell me I didn't care." He left out the fact that it was for Beth that he had wanted to keep Josh alive, because he cared so much about her it hurt…

Beth freed herself of his grip and slid down against the railing of the balcony, letting the vodka slip out of her hand. Then she began to cry. Openly, letting sobs wrack her tiny frame, shaking from more than just the cool breeze that had settled into the night.

"Please," she managed to get out, "leave me alone now. I just want to die."

"No."

She looked up at him.

"I won't leave you alone. I won't walk away from you right now."

Beth shook her head and tried to get up, only to slide back to the ground again. Without thinking, Mick bent down and lifted her into his arms.

"Please..." she whispered as he turned and carried her back into the bedroom.

"Please what?" he asked.

She looked at him for a moment, tears glistening in her eyes, "Don't…" she started, seeming to fight with something inside of her, "Don't leave me alone tonight."

She buried her head against his chest and the sobs came again. Mick looked down at her, shivering with pain and sorrow and bruised with what life had done to her. He suddenly realized that he wanted nothing more than to stay. He wanted to hold Beth against him and protect her forever. Taking a deep breath, he laid her down on the bed.

"I won't," he said.

Without really thinking, Mick got into bed next to her and took her in his arms, pulling her into him.

"Sometimes it just hurts too much," she whispered, her breath warm against his neck

"I know," he replied, stroking her shoulder, "I know."

When Beth had fallen asleep, Mick found himself studying her face. Her long lashes, the shine of her hair, her soft pink mouth…everything. And he permitted himself to say what he had wanted to say to her since that night she kissed him.

Brushing her forehead with a kiss, he whispered "I love you" into her sweet smelling hair.

It was then that his own tears began to fall.


	2. AN

**A/N: wow! I can't believe all the great responses I've gotten so far for this story. Keep them coming ******** To be honest this didn't even start out as something for moonlight. The characters had no names and I was just sort of writing aimlessly, then I saw the show and it just came together. It was all so Mick and Beth I couldn't help myself. So after some editing and changes, ta da!**

**I'm really just doing oneshots at the moment because school is so hectic – stupid college. But I promise I'll have longer stories up soon too : - )**


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